Understanding Molestation, Assault and Rape.

 

We've heard different stories of rape victims, but I bet we never really took time to understand what goes on in the head of the survivors.

 

Molestation, Assault and Rape are actions that leave a mental disorientation in the mind of survivors.

 

Molestation is the act of touching or behaving toward someone in a sexual or inappropriate way without their permission.

 

A very practical example is when conductors in a bid to call passengers touch you to take you to their bus, you got uncomfortable and told them but they refused to respect your body boundaries and keep touching you; that is molestation.

The moment a hug, a kiss or even a touch becomes forced, that is MOLESTATION. 

 

Assault on the other hand, is intentionally hurting someone or trying to hurt them, either physically or by making them fear they are about to be hurt.

Assault can be physical or verbal threats.

 

A good example is raising a hand to hurt someone making them fear even though the hit never happens or throwing objects at someone in a bid to hurt them, intentionally.

 

Rape is when a person forces another person to have sexual intercourse or sexual activity without their consent (permission).

The victim either didn't agree, was pressured, threatened, tricked or too young to give consent.

 

These three words are related because they involve violating someone's body boundaries, but they still differ.

 

RAPE, is sex without consent.

MOLESTATION is sexual or inappropriate behavior without permission.

ASSAULT, is physically attacking someone in a bid to hurt them or threatening to hurt them.

Sexual violence isn’t just a physical act; it is a violation of trust, safety, and personal boundaries.

 

It doesn't always start with a push to the bed or a forceful, unwanted kiss.

 

Sometimes it starts subtly — hands lingering where they shouldn't, sexualized comments about body parts disguised as a joke; until it becomes louder.

 

Molestation and rape describes situations where consent is absent and a person’s autonomy is taken away. What many people don’t see, however, is that the deepest wounds are often invisible.

 

A few moments of pleasure for the perpetrator can leave survivors struggling with fear, anxiety, low self-esteem, body shame and difficulty in trusting others.

Some carry silent questions like “Was it my fault?”. 

 

In a society where survivors of sexual violence are either blamed, stigmatized or considered an outcast, healing and moving on can be difficult but not impossible.

 

When you meet a survivor, show and express emotional intelligence.

There are certain words that instead of bringing survivors to a place of healing, hurts them further.

Even small phrases can make a big difference in whether a person feels safe or hurt after opening up.

 

Words you shouldn't say:	Why you shouldn't say them:	Say this instead:
Why didn’t you fight back?	This sounds like you are blaming them. Many people freeze out of fear, which is a normal survival response.	I’m really sorry this happened to you.
What were you wearing?	This implies their clothes led to the assault. Nothing someone wears makes them responsible for harm done to them.	It’s not your fault, nothing you did led to this.
Are you sure that’s what happened?	This sounds like you don’t believe them and you think they're being too extra in recounting what happened.	I believe you.
You should just forget about it, it's not that deep.	Healing takes time. Telling someone to forget minimizes their pain and makes their feelings invalid.	You’re not alone. I'm here every step of the way.
This will ruin your future if people know.	Creates fear and shame instead of support.	Thank you for telling me. How can I support you?

 

 

Sometimes, the greatest step toward recovery begins with being heard and knowing you are not alone.

 

Managing emotional hurt and trauma after an experience like assault or molestation is not about forgetting, it’s about healing, feeling safe again, and slowly regaining control of your life.

 

Healthy Ways to Manage Hurt and Trauma:

 

1. Talk to someone safe: This could be a trusted friend, family member, school counselor, therapist, or support group. You don't have to tell everything at once, you just have to trust them enough even with the littlest detail.

 

2. Express your feelings in safe ways: More often than not, it's hard to communicate how you feel with words.

In cases like this; actions like journalling, music, prayer or painting can be avenues to let your emotions out.

 

3. Maintain a stable routine: Simple and stable routines like a regular sleep time, exercise, eating well and self care can help to manage traumas.

 

4. Set boundaries: Don't be pressured to sharing your story; it's okay to be angry, it's okay to be sad, it's okay to take breaks, it's okay to protect your emotional space.

 

5. Professional support: Don't choose to go through the healing process alone. A trained counselor or therapist can help process memories safely, provide a confidential and non-judgmental space.

 

Seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.